You can smile.
You can giggle.
You can scream.
But you absolutely cannot "lol."
Now I don't mean you can't laugh. Feel free to laugh. Laugh your socks off, if that fits your fancy. But if you're going to fall victim to fits of hilarity, I'd rather you not inform me by typing "lol", "rofl", "lmao" or any other abbreviated phrase.If your sentences constantly resemble something like this: "omg, did you hear what she said the other day? lol. SO funny. I mean, I was lmao..oh sry, brb.. wait nvm. lol. idk what I'm doing. rofl."
then there is no hope. We will probably never be the best of friends and when you ask for a bite of my Ben and Jerry's "New York Super Chunk Fudge" ice cream I will say no. Always.
Ok so maybe you could blame the fact that I am easily annoyed by this because I'm an English major and therefore I find language and words to be wonderful things that should always be used in full yada yada and junk. However, seeing that this pet peeve of mine occurred long before my decision to become an english major, I don't think my affinity for words in general has anything to do with it. No, I've been annoyed by this for far longer and it's due to a number of reasons as shall be noted in order of importance below:
1) "Lol" could perhaps be the biggest lie in typing and texting. Be honest with me, how many times do you actually literally "laugh out loud" when you type "lol"? If you answered all the time, then you are lying and this world would probably be better off without you so go dig yourself a hole, climb in, and never show your face again. The rest of you, who are actually being honest with yourselves, I imagine said anywhere from rarely to never. The ratio of literal laughs to typed "lol"s is few to none (trust me, I researched). I see "lol" as a filler; an instant quick reply to something that may only be a mildly funny comment. There are those who use "lol" during every awkward pause in every online/texting conversation.This is unnecessary and overkill. Just stop. I've even tested my theory multiple times by sitting my room and talking online to someone in the room next to me and every time they would type "lol" I would listen and hear... you guessed it.. .silence. You could hear crickets, that was all. This only helped confirm my belief that "lol" is the biggest lie in our universe (not really, I just thought exaggeration would be useful here).
Simple solution: Never use "lol" ever again. Ever ever ever.
2) The absolute worst use of "lol" is when people use it in face-to-face conversations! I mean, what is that? Why on earth would anyone want to insult the magnificent ability of the tongue and not only A. cut out a phrase that is easily said in less than 1.32 seconds but B. again, lie because you cannot be literally laughing when you instead say "lol". Ridiculous. I would be almost willing to accept the occasional legitimate (as in really laughing out loud) lol's via internet or phone but in person is completely unacceptable. Don't ever do this around me unless you wish to witness my ability to break noses in one swift and deadly accurate high kick.
Simple solution: Never use "lol" ever again in person or via airwaves. Ever ever ever.
3) There are far more effective ways of expressing your amusement for whatever comment or action you are responding to. If your brain is super tiny and/or not used to stretching itself and coming up with alternative methods, here are a few examples off the top of my head: "haha" (or in extremely hilarious situations: "hahaha"), "that's hilarious", "how funny!", "I'm laughing so hard on the inside!" or perhaps the most effective (and my personal favorite) "That comment/action was so amusing I would've peed in my pants if I had been literally laughing out loud just then." My recommendation is to try one or all of these out for a change. I promise, it will be an enriching experience.
Simple solution: Never use "lol" ever again in person or via airwaves. Ever ever ever. Use substitutes. Trust me, it's not hard (eating is harder).
In conclusion, I will say that while this is a huge pet peeve of mine, I admit, I do use the occasional shortcut. Never ever, of course, have I used "lol" or "rofl" or "lmao" but I have used "brb" "nvm" and "jk". I feel that these are more justified in the fact that I never use them in face to face conversations NOR are they lies to my fellow mankind. When I say "brb" I literally will "be right back". But even these are rare occurrences in my day-to-day chats. I would encourage you to fight against the social norms, use WORDS and your brain (size is irrelevant) to spice up your conversational life. The purpose of this blog will be to explore pet peeves: the big, the small, the unknown, the common, the ridiculous and the fascinating. "Lol" just happens to be one of mine and therefore serves as the inspiration and jump-start for this blog. Not all of these peeves will be ones personally related to me, some will be ones I found while researching online. I'm hoping to find some that are completely off the wall, the more ludicrous the better. Hopefully, we will all be enlightened and amused together as I embark on this journey... just remember, "lol'ing" is not allowed.
